Dreams...

So I haven't done this in awhile…however, it has been at the back of my mind for some months and my soul (cringe!) has been crying out for an outpouring of creativity!

TWENTY SEVENTEEN has been a wild year to say the least. I am about to board my 24th flight of the year and visit my 10th county. If I were to count up the hours of flying and “airport waiting” I have done it would be a ridiculous task (no thanks to the delays and missed connections *rolls eyes*). Most people would look at my year and struggle to believe 1) how I am still functioning and 2) that I even have a job - turns out I finally jumped off the corporate ladder and landed smack bang in the middle of my dreams - only took a good 5 years to muster the courage and find the career I have been longing for. Which brings me to today’s destination - Tanzania!

I’ve joined an international development NGO that operates in East Africa with the primary focus of alleviating poverty through farming and sustainable resource management. They're a relatively small player in the field but having attended meetings and inductions over the past month the work is exciting, it’s dynamic, it’s changing people’s lives and it’s feeding the hungry. What brought this all into a startlingly light recently is that I stumbled upon a list I had made back in 2012 when I moved to London - it was simply titled “Dreams” and amongst Learn to Surf, Watch Wimbledon centre court final and Become a Mom were these THREE items:

1) Travel through Africa
2) Work in Africa
3) Do something to stop hunger

To say I am on the path to achieving a good few of these things would not be an exaggeration and I cannot help but consider how the choices I have made myself or even the ones others have made on my behalf have brought me to this moment where my life is starting to fall into a rhythm that feels about right! Granted I am miles off from becoming a mom, owning a house, or having an African train wedding but I am ok with that and I’ll keep adding new things to this “Dreams” list as long as I live knowing that very few of them will ever come true but that doesn't mean one shouldn't hope for the things unseen.

Dreams - Fleetwood Mac
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mrZRURcb1cM

Sweet Dreams - Eurythmics
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qeMFqkcPYcg

Numb...

Sigh

Numb - Linkin Park

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kXYiU_JCYtU

Speechless...

It's like I've been waiting for forever...

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/pitchfork.com/news/69655-listen-to-the-xxs-first-performance-in-2-years-featuring-new-song-on-hold-and-old-favorites/amp/?client=safari

Gwendoline Donaldson Honey

Over the past few days, Lara and I have mulled over all the memories we are so lucky to have of Granny. For as long as we can remember Granny was always around and we feel privileged to have spent so much time with her while growing up. 

Saying that, it wasn't always easy having another adult telling us what to do and how to behave but with age comes perspective and we wouldn't change that for the world.  Each of you here have special memories of Granny Honey which I am sure you will treasure. We thought we would share a few of ours.

So get your glasses with a shot of white wine, a cup of water and copious amounts of ice ready – just the way Granny liked it!

Before Granny moved into our home she lived in a flat on what felt like the highest floor ever in Kenilworth. I vividly remember the journey across the Swartrivier as we journeyed to visit her – that same journey I would later drive every day to university and would think back to those visits. 

When she did move to Edgemead, our parents gained a full time babysitter – much to their delight. Granny took this responsibility in her stride. Mom decided to start up her sewing empire during this time forcing Granny to spend hours on end watching us. Growing up in the sunny Cape meant this involved watching Lara and I swim the days away. We only realised later in life how sensitive Granny was surrounding swimming and the game of ‘let’s pretend we’re drowning’ was not as fun for her as it was for us. To this day this haunts us and we cannot imagine how awful we were. 

On drier ground and given Lara and my inability to connect with people our own age we turned to Granny to be our friend. This included hours of Rummikubplayed sitting at her rocking chair. I would always encourage her to go to the loo before the game started, affording me the opportunity to shuffle and deal the cards. Granny was obviously a card maestro in a previous life as she still somehow managed to win even though the dealing had been doctored and I always landed up with all the jokers. 

Lara and I both inherited our appetites from our Gran. She never shied away from a good meal. That being said her cooking left much to be desired, aka her lumpy mash potatoes and cheese on crackers. Dad clearly won the lottery when he met mom with her incredible cooking skills, however it was Granny who taught momthe ways of a good Yorkshire pudding. Saying this, if there is one dish that we will always remember and miss it would have to be her rice pudding. When asked to write this in Lara’s recipe book a few years back the instructions included ‘small pieces of butter’ and ‘place rice in a bowl’ – informative. Having tried to replicate this dish, Lara has fallen short of Granny’s glory, however, we will both continue to try and perfect this as we grow older. 

Granny also loved a good meal out as long as it was MacDonald’s or fish ‘n chips on Blouberg beach or Spur garlic snails and ladies sirloin. This had to come with a sparkler and a sing-a-long even if it wasn’t her birthday. We can’t say she had a taste for fine dining but she did have a taste for fine jewellery. Granny loved a bit of bling and she passed this love onto me. She always insisted that she had her jewellery on before leaving the house. This included a very special emerald ring that from an early age Lara called dibs. Granny proceeded to tell everyone she met that this ring was for her red-headed granddaughter.  She also gave both Lara and I a set of coffee bean earrings and pendant, which as children we had no idea what they were but now as London has developed us into coffee snobs (partly by choice, partly necessity) these pieces have become more and more important to us.

Lara and I clearly never inherited the charm that Granny had on the men in her life. There were occasions when that lady was juggling many suitors. She would dance the night away with a new man every weekend but none took her fancy until Jac came along and even that required excessive amounts of work on his part. Jacslowly worked his way into our lives, starting with Monday night dinners, progressing to lifting Lara and meto various afterschool activities and ultimately convincing Granny it was time to leave her sons home and move in with him a grand total of 900m away. The convenience of this location afforded Lara the opportunity to run away from home after a fight with mom and dad. Upon arrival at Jac’s house, she was swiftly turned around by Granny and sent right back home before mom and dad even realised Lara had left. 

Lastly, Granny was a party animal - often the first on a dancefloor and the last to leave a party. She knew how to have a good time. Particularly she loved a good dress-up party - with outfits ranging from cowgirls to Indians. Not only did she love to dress-up she also took a fond interest in one of my friends at my 21st who came dressed as an Avatar, in head to toe blue. To this day that same friend of mine and I find ourselves laughing at how granny tried to dance with her all night long. 

So at 92 years, 11 months and 9 days Granny has lived an incredible life and we are all the richer for having had her play such a big part in ours. 

Her favourite... Maggie May - Rod Stewart

http://youtu.be/h9dlG-iq3F8

We fight, when we should dance...

Truth is the freedom of the soul. We're very young, in this young universe, and we often fail, and dishonour ourselves, even if only in the caves of the mind. We fight, when we should dance. We compete, cheat and punish innocent nature.

But that isn't what we are, it's simply what we do in the world that we made for ourselves, and we can freely change what we do, and the world we made, every second that we live.

In all the things that really matter, we are one. Love and faith, trust and empathy, family and friendship, sunsets and songs of awe: in every wish born in our humanity we are one. Our humankind, at this moment in our destiny, is a child blowing on a dandelion, without thought or understanding. But the wonder in the child is the wonder in us, and there's no limit to the good we can do when human hearts connect. It's the truth of us. It's the story of us. It's the meaning of the word God: we are one. We are one. We are one.

The Mountain Shadow

Gregory David Roberts

You'll Stay with Somone New in a Strange Town and there will be Fire...

Where does the time go… 

Oh I know, Warrington, the time goes to Warrington. I’ve been travelling up North for what feels like forever and frankly a commute less than three hours would probably hit me for a SIX.  Saying that I better get used to it because I only have something like THIRTY ONE days (no one’s counting) left on this job until I am back in London permanently.  I would be lying if the thought of being in the big smoke full time isn’t alarmingly scary to this well acclimatised North Westerner now, especially after spending the past week there and feeling like I need to be in bed by 20h00 today to recover but I am also looking forward to the hustle and bustle again. 

At a later stage I am sure I will reflect on the past 10 months and write a post about “The things the Northerners taught me” but it’s all too soon to reminisce yet. 

What I do want to talk about is how cool this year has been so far and the incredible musicians that have been gracing the wintery shores of England. 

It all started with a bang late January with Hozier, that “take me to church” fella. What a performance. Not only is he wonderfully Irish with that lush long curly hair but he sings like an angel.  I remember the very first time I heard “Someone New” back in 2014 and couldn’t help but feel the sense that maybe to me the most perfect lyric ever had just been uttered “Cause God knows I fall in love just a little, oh, a little bit every day with someone new”.  As a person who observes everyone around her (particularly challenging in London when one crosses path with tens of thousands of people each day!!) I can safely say that most days I will see someone that catches my eye for whatever reason and every time that happens now I think of Hozier’s beautiful song. And why should we fall in love every day you ask? Well I ask why shouldn’t we?! 

This brings me to the next guy that honestly without sounding like an utter fluff changed my life and will continue to do so. David Ramirez. If you have never heard him you are missing out on some of the finest music in the world. I’ve been listening to his stuff for years now and trolling his page for any UK dates with no such luck until late September last year. The day I found out he was gracing the UK with his presence I struggled to sleep. I tossed and turned as the excitement mounted and realising that the show was FOUR months away I had to get a grip. Sleeping improved in the following months but roll around the 24th January 2016, the day before Show 1 of 2 that I had tickets to attend and I felt a slight apprehension.  What if he wasn’t as good live? …not likely… What if he didn’t play my favourite song of all time ever? …he didn’t that night… What if all the hype and all the hours of listening to his music somehow changed seeing him in the flesh? ….it didn’t, well it did in a frikken amazing way… Anyway, he basically was everything and more live and I resisted the urge to cry or scream or make an embarrassing scene (I didn’t have to though…. My friend Sam who came along did that all for me, “We’ll be there” in response to whether anyone in the crowd was going to his Thursday show).  Needless to say her efforts did not go unrewarded, we managed an introduction to the man himself and a cringe worthy “It’s a school night, no way we could have a drink tonight, Monday and all….” SIGH. I will forever look back on that moment and potentially put it down to the one time my ridiculous logical self took over and made decisions on my behalf! Alas, we had Thursday.

And Thursday a couple of things happened:
1. He sang my song.
2. I cried.
3. We danced.
5. We drank.
6. We made up for Monday night’s faux pas – at least in my opinion. 

I would also like to vow to attend Mr Ramirez’s shows wherever in the world they are if (a) they are in a reasonable travelling distance from my location and (b) nope…actually just (a) is enough.
 

Then lastly, on the eve of Valentine's Day I found myself in Brixton’s O2 Academy, in all fairness I think I’ve had a longer relationship with that venue than any romantic relationship anyway.  The evening called for the good company of Hurts, hailing from my current second home (Manchester, not Warrington cause I really should up-play this Warrington situation a little). I just did a quick check and I never wrote about them the last time I went to see them in the East side of London. Alarming. Anyway, Brixton was off the hook. They made me dance solidly for TWO hours. My friend Sam (as above) had not heard a single song of theirs before that night but somehow jammed along with me all night, you are close to the best gig-go-er friend a girl could ask for! This time I resisted the urge to cry (*ball my eyes out*) to their smashing hit “Stay” and in turn realised how far I have come since the last time I saw them in October 2013…. Only took 2 and a bit years to get here! A shout out to my father for indulging my TWENTY ONE year old self and importing their first CD – Happiness for me back in 2010. Happiness is a choice and I think this year I will choose it for myself. 

And with that positive note, I am going to sign out now. I will endeavour to write more this year but no promises, you know life happens... 

Until next time! 

Someone New - Hozier
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPJSsAr2iu0

Fires – David Ramirez
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYjC77nW51w

Strange Town – David Ramirez (cause the line between favourite here is so thin, he failed to sing this one though…maybe next time!?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkXYiEmY_qk

Stay – Hurts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nP3XB7hrFo

P.S. I know point 4 is missing, but point 4’s are always pointless.

Shadow...

"The source of all things, the luminescence, has more forms than heaven's stars, sure. And one good thought is all it takes to make it shine. But a single mistake can burn down a forest in your heart, hiding all the stars, in all the skies. And while a mistake's still burning, ruined love or lost faith can make you think you're done, and you can't go on. But it's not true. It's never true. No matter what you do, no matter where you're lost, the luminescence never leaves you. Any good thing then dies inside can rise again, if you want it hard enough. The heart doesn't know how to quit, because it doesn't know how to lie. You lift your eyes from the page, fall into the smile of a perfect stranger, and the searching starts all over again. It's not what it was. It's always different. It's always something else. But the new forest that grows back in a scarred heart is sometimes wilder and stronger than it was before the fire. And if you stay there, in that shine within yourself, that new place for the light, forgiving everything and never giving up, sooner or later you'll always find yourself right back there where love and beauty made the world: the beginning. The beginning. The beginning."

The Mountain Shadow

Gregory David Roberts